“Stop looking back, you’re not going that way”
Your past is in your past, leave it that way and move on.
HA! Obviously easier said than done.
I have spent so much time and energy on my past – whether it be trying to answer the unfeasible question ‘why’ or dwelling on situations and circumstances fueling so much anger and hate. There were times I became (and on occasion still become) infuriated and so caught up on things I am never, ever going to be able to change.
While understanding is a huge part of kicking the addiction to the past, letting go will help you reach your full potential and open up so many more doors to the future. This isn’t about forgetting your past, because obviously that is unrealistic.
I recently came to the realization I was resisting change. I was becoming more confident – I was starting to try new things in the gym, getting out of my comfort zone and lifting in front of a mirror (huge deal for me) – but then the next day I would go to do the same thing and be so uncomfortable, a huge wave of self-conscious randomly attacked and I felt like I didn’t belong.
The gym, the locker room – these were places that once crushed me with painful insecurities and I was realizing that this fear and anxiety had nothing to do with the current situations and everything to do with feelings from the past.
Annoyed, I decided that this is something I need to let go of. I am past those insecurities, why are they creeping up on me? am I resenting myself for being happy? Is my mind stuck living in the past?
So, I sat down and I wrote a letter to myself (yep, straight up pen and paper). Maybe this is crazy to you, but I read about the idea in a personal growth book. I forgave myself for where I was mentally, which led me to where I was physically, which held me back from so many experiences. As I was writing I felt anger, sadness, but what really surprised me is that I felt happiness – I wasn’t in that place anymore – that person I was writing that letter to, was nowhere near the person I am toady. I am stronger.
Maybe your own self-limiting beliefs are pulling you to the past, maybe it is a particular person or experience that keeps your eyes in the rear view. I’d encourage you to write these emotions down – write a letter, you don’t have to actually send it to anyone, but I promise you will be amazed how freeing it is. Sometimes we have a much easier time forgiving others, than we do ourselves.
When your past calls, don’t answer, it has nothing new to say.
This one letter didn’t magically fix everything and my subconscious insecurities are not magically ‘cured’ but I will say that it has made a tremendous impact. I am taking charge of my mind and my life. I refuse to self sabotage the amazing strides I have made and all of the hard work I am putting in.
I am letting go of a victim mentality. Persistence will be key, I know this. I know that self-doubt will creep in, but I will remind myself of how far I have come and remind myself of WHY I am moving on.
I constantly try to remind myself that everything happens for a reason, and I needed to take the path I did to prepare me for my future. I am stronger and more prepared than ever.
We’ve got a beautiful future ahead,
XX – J