Life is full of surprises – sometimes they are life’s greatest moments, but others stop you dead in your tracks and shatter your daily routine. Shatter every plan you mapped out for yourself.
I am notorious for over-planning – when I decide I am going to do something I map out a plan to get there. While this can be an amazing characteristic/trait sometimes I go too far because one bump in the road throws me so off balance the map goes up in flames.
Last week it was a normal day and I went into the doctors to check in regarding an auto immune disease I have. It was perfect I had a mid day appointment so I would have plenty of time to go to the gym for a second session.
That second session never happened, and won’t be happening for a few weeks.
Someday I will write about this insane auto immune disease of mine, but for now I’ll keep it basic. It affects layers underneath the skin forming what they call “tunnels”. During my visit they found that a tunnel had developed larger than I thought – it turned out to be one of the largest my doctor has ever seen – and it needed to be removed right then.
That two hour doctors visit was such a whirlwind and everything happened so fast. As they left the room to let me recover and rest before leaving everything started sinking in.
Shock, anxiety, anger fear – This is literally a softball sized open wound. I have to drive myself home. How do I explain this to my boss? At least a week out of the office – why they hell can’t I work from home. Wait, what did she say I do with the, gauze. WAIT! THE GYM!? No working out!? Wait COME BACK HERE what!? How long? What do I do? At this point tears were falling down my face and I literally didn’t know how to control my emotions about the situation.
As I talked about in last month’s recap this is around the time in my weight loss adventures where I become too comfortable and become more relaxed with my eating and working out – I wasn’t going to let that happen this time .. and now this.
Four days have gone by and the feelings of helplessness, fear, and frustration continue to surface, but I need to remember that this is temporary – this situation is not going to last forever. No, it isn’t going to be easy, but I need to focus on what I can to keep myself on track to my goals.
The overwhelming world of nutrition has been frustrating me along my journey lately – so I am taking an iTunesU class son nutrition. The time is going to go by as I lay here on the couch whether I am productive or not, so I might as well do something that is going to add some value to my life. I have to embrace these moments, they are my life and I will not get them back.
I am doing my best to control my attitude and make it a positive one. If there is one thing I have learned from this disease over the years, it is that I have an extremely solid foundation of inner strength. In this time I am reminded that just as I work-out to exercise my physical strength, my inner strength needs to be flexed once in a while.
This too shall pass, Live Happy – xx, J